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Transcribing music demanded nearly all of his attention.

With headphones donned and a well-worn notebook of staff-lined paper in his lap, Alois set to work hastily scrawling notes to match the melody playing through his ears. He mimicked its crisp charm and lilting tones through every measure of the piece, and often paused the music to catch up to its current beat. Despite the fact that his rests looked far too similar to a seizure-induced squiggle, and his notes appeared hardly legible, Alois made decent headway in converting the piece into proper piano music. With a bit of revision, he might find that piece easily playable.

The vocals, however... He may need to find someone capable of singing in German, for he wouldn't chance that venture on his own. Even with his expansive knowledge of music theory and the components encompassing a solid song, he didn't trust his own voice.

He neared the end of the song, and soon enough it repeated to the beginning, halting his progress momentarily. Soon he eyed his notes with a sigh, following along with the music and correcting any glaring errors. However, he eventually lost interest in revisions due to the movement registered in his peripheral. Despite the tunnel vision normally obtained during the drafting process, he easily perceived that minute gesture out of the corner of his eye.

Alois looked up from his work to see his roommate in a state that he'd only seen once. The boy stood before him, unabashedly naked and sopping wet, with a towel pressed to his hair and the midday sunlight reflecting quietly off his still-damp skin. His tattoo, still fresh with vivid ink, provided a heavy contrast to the rest of his pale body. Alexandre stood so delicately, yet so sure of himself. Perhaps that dichotomy in his disposition was what drew Alois' gaze the most.

Then again, he was gawking at a stark naked boy. There might be baser intentions present.

The music soon petered into silence, the pen fell out of his hand, and he temporarily forgot to blink. Alexandre looked so white in the light of day, yet not quite to the point of looking terribly ashen. His hair matched his skin, his eyes reflected his barely-pigmented body. And that tattoo... oh, how he wanted to lick it. But that could wait for another-

His roommate must've muttered something, so Alois pulled the headphones off his ears with undue force. "What?" He finally met his roommate's gaze.

The blonde retreated before Alois had time to finish staring. Though he couldn't see where Alexandre went past the arm of the couch, Alois surmised that he headed into the kitchen by the sound of bare feet on hardwood floor. Alexandre often enjoyed retreating at the worst moments, whether by intent or by accident, and it fueled Alois' mischievous desire to harass the boy with a plethora of tricks.

"So let me get zis straight," he began, sitting up slightly and half-turning to face the opening to the kitchen. "You walk around stark ******** naked, wis' all ze windows open and everysing, yet I'm ze strange one? If you're going to meander srough ze house in nossing but your goddamn Adamskostüm*, expect me to stare." Alois huffed. Couldn't the boy simply take it as a compliment and leave him be? Apparently not - unusual behavior must be some sign of a threat, or a malfunction of the mind. Sometimes he really felt the cultural difference between them, as every mile stretched a thousandfold in his mind. Perhaps it was his folly to expect them to relate to one another.

In a moment of capitulation, Alois tossed the notebook and his MP3 player atop the nearby end table. They skidded and nearly fell right off the lacquered surface, but it didn't faze him. Alois would've risen and followed the boy into the kitchen, but Alexandre soon proved that a pointless effort. Instead he sat up fully and shifted to face the boy. "Oh, you mean zis s**t?" He asked dismissively, pointing toward the notebook balanced precariously on the table. "I was writing sheet music." Speaking of sheet music, Alexandre would look good beneath his sheets right now. "Whenever zere's a song I'd like to play, I'll just jot it down. Makes it easier zan constantly listening to it and ******** up ze notes."

However, Alois wasn't terribly interested in his previous endeavors into sheet music or pulling all manner of tricks on the poor boy right now. No, Alexandre still sat adjacent to him, still without a shred of clothing in sight, and hardly covered by that towel. How could he possibly expect Alois to do something other than stare? Preposterous. Absolutely- ... wait.

"...Why ze ******** do you shave your legs?" He asked with a backward glance.

*Birthday suit

"Of course I write my own sheet music. I'd be stupid not to." Alois slowly became more animated in his dissertation on music; an opportunity to speak of his passions rarely occurred these days. "If you're trying to play by ear, it's easy to get lost in certain details zat you normally won't overlook when drafting ze music. For example," he leaned forward and gesticulated the fine movements in playing piano. "If I try to play zis piece wis'out a written copy, I might become ensralled wis' ze melody and completely neglect ze harmony." His right hand moved religiously, while the left remained predominately still. "Already I am learning to play ze piece wrong, because I am not playing it wis' all its parts.

"Zat's why I write ze sheet music first. I can just listen to ze song, pick out bos' ze melody and ze harmony wis'out straining myself over trying to interpret zem at once. I can pause and replay wis'out ******** myself up. And perhaps most importantly, I can write out ze nuances, like pieces of ze song dropping to piano, or ze pace slowing to andante." He snorted and smiled; for once, it carried no ulterior motives. "Besides, haf' you ever written a sixteens' note bar? It's fun." Finally he realized that he embarked on too great a tangent. Instead, he simply slouched back against the couch and gave up on his attempts to explain the intricacies of translating a song across instruments.

"Yes, I can show you when I finish it. Wis'out ze long-winded explanations." Alex already asserted that he lacked all musical talent; what possessed him to explain himself so thoroughly?

Must be the good mood.

And that good mood remained until Alexandre pointed out his dismal failure in noticing that the boy shaved. As much as he tried to stifle it, Alois could not prevent the heat scathing his ears. "Wh-what?! Since you don't remember, I was busy wis' ozzer sings. Your girly legs weren't very high on my to-do list." How embarrassing... called out on his own failure to identify key characteristics of his lovers. Maybe the starseed had more to do with it than he realized. "Of course it doesn't matter; drop ze subject already." Flustered, he shifted his gaze to the window on the far side of the room; he didn't want to set his sights on Alex right now.

"No," he answered abruptly.

Alois elaborated further on his stunted response. "You'f' lived wis' me for how long now? Haf' you ever seen me blush? Zat's what I sought." Finally his golden gaze settled on the blonde again. "You. however... I don't recall a day when you didn't blush." Given all his sarcastic comments, carnal quips, and horrendous pranks played on the boy, he was actually quite surprised Alexandre hadn't kicked him out. Somehow he appreciated that infinite patience, though it was never a virtue he coveted.

"You know gift means poison in German, right? Are you planning to poison me, Liebling?" He flashed the blonde a mischievous smirk. He'd continue manipulating his roommate's words, but he relented in lieu of his good mood.

"Semantics aside..." He couldn't resist. "I knew you liked it." Alois punctuated his statement with a laugh. Though it seemed an obvious point to state, confirming his suspicions aloud felt liberating.

Alois stood with a light wince; lately his leg improved at a decent clip, and its ornery protests dulled to a minor bemoaning. Lately he preferred walking around the house without the cane, to his doctor's dismay. Even though those actions precipitated a pronounced limp, he found it more to his liking to endure the pain and walk on his own than begrudgingly use a third leg. If anything, it appeared a sign of weakness, and lacked that hint of self-destruction that he found strangely enticing. Unfortunately meandering around the house without the appointed cane would likely garner protests from his mother hen roommate.

Luckily the distance between the couch and the linen closet was negligible at best, so he managed the trek with relative ease. Upon throwing the door open haphazardly, he selected one of the few light blankets within, which felt close to some sort of soft cotton. In fact, he doubted Alexandre owned much of anything that wasn't largely organic. With the blanket in hand, he closed the door as roughly as he'd opened it, and limped to the chair where Alexandre sat. Without a word, he tossed the blanket over the boy, to finally conceal at least some of his body.

Maybe now he'd be able to concentrate.

Tenka~Mom? Are you doing okay? Ann~Nauseous He led her to sit down Tenka~I don’t think Reiketsu and Koneko will mind if we don’t do anything today. Ann~What are you talking about? Tenka~You’re pregnant Mom. You need to take it easy. Buddy came in Buddy~Hey, there you are. You okay, Ann? It’s weird to see you like this. Ann~Yeah, I’m fine. Just the hormones and altitude. What’d you need me for? Buddy~We arrived Ann~Oh, nice. Tenka, go get your siblings and father. I’ll meet you at the bridge. Tenka~Yes mom He went to the elevator first Buddy~They don’t know? Ann~No. Just stay close to them Buddy~You’re not going? Ann~Being pregnant and going to the desert will not mix well with me Buddy~But it doesn’t sound like you’re gonna stay on the ship either Ann~No. I want to visit Kimahri Buddy~He loved the triplets. He’ll be excited about the new one Ann~How do you know? Buddy~I overheard when he was on the commsphere with Rikku. She pestered him about finally having children Ann laughed as he helped her up to take the elevator with him Ann~I can’t believe this is the first time all day since breakfast I saw you three together. Happy Birthday Triplets~Thanks mom Reiketsu~We going someplace? Kiba~Yup. Your birthday gift is an extended stay at the desert. Koneko~Are you coming too mom? Ann~Not this time. You three and Dad will be going to the desert. Right now, actually Tenka~What’ll you do until we’re ready to go? Ann~I’m gonna go visit Kimahri for a few hours then go stay with Clasko and the chocobos Reiketsu~Won’t be the same Ann~Think of it as I trust you guys will be fine without me for a while. The desert is safe Koneko~What about that one fiend and the cactuars? Ann~Attack the superfiend’s mana or run. Those cactuars are the kids, so you can run too or fight. Be mindful of the needles. Reiketsu~Lotta trust… Kiba~Are you actually nervous? Reiketsu~No! I just! Uh… Ann~He’s growing into the Momochi name so well She nudged Kiba then kissed Reiketsu’s forehead Ann~You’ll be fine. I only like being with you guys because I worry. And so the other Spirans don’t think I’m sinking another ship Brother~You did not do that this time? Ann~You keep that up I’m throwing you off the deck Kiba~Ann Ann~Oh! Sorry, Brother. Hormones. Brother~Y-yeah. [You terrify me.] Ann~Once the baby is born you can go back to fearing the triplets His face paled Buddy~Come on. Triplets, Happy birthday. If you see Cid, just make sure you’re nice to him They nodded Kiba~Thanks, Buddy. We’ll see you later. Ann, behave and don’t do too much Ann~Just make sure you don’t lose the kids in a sandstorm Triplets~We’ll be careful After dropping them off, Ann was taken to Mount Gagazet. She walked further up the base before she saw Kimahri Ann~Kimahri! He turned to face her and nodded his head as she bowed to him Kimahri~Ann got big. Ann having another pup? Ann~Yes. We’re all excited Kimahri~Where is family? Ann~Today is the triplets’ birthday. They’ve taken a liking to the desert, but I can’t stay for extended periods of time, especially with being pregnant now. Kimahri~Dangerous here too for Ann Ann~Nonesense. I’m wearing a jacket and pants. I’ll be fine Kimahri~Ann should still not stay long. Kimahri worries Ann~I’m only gonna be here for a few hours, then I was gonna go down to the Calm Lands. I still owe you too Kimahri~Can Kimahri feel? Ann~Is that what I’ll owe you? Kimahri grunted and nodded. Ann smiled and took his hand and placed it on the side of her belly. Ann~The baby’s been kicking for a little while now Kimahri~Baby is girl Ann~How can you tell? Kimahri~Kimahri cannot explain. Baby is strong. Will fight like Ann. Ann~can you tell anything else about the baby? Kimahri~Everyone will love baby Ann~You’re only saying that. Kmahri~Baby too young to cause trouble Ann~I hope so. The triplets still managed to make trouble. They somehow made my sensei set himself on fire. Kimahri sighed and shook his head The following morning, Kiba had woken Ann from the hay bedding from Clasko’s spare chocobo pen Ann~Huh? Who’s there? Kiba~Just me, love. Ready to go? Ann~Clasko? Kiba~Already left with the triplets to get something to eat. We’re going to meet them at the games Ann~But sleepy Kiba~You only need to get on the chocobo, then you can go back to sleep Ann~Okay dear With Kiba’s help she was brought up to her feet After a slow ride to the center of the plains, they found the triplets and Clasko together Tenka~Mom still sleeping? Kiba~Mostly. But should be awake soon. Reiketsu~How did you get mom on? Kiba~She was awake Clasko~It would be unsafe for her if we tried to get her off without waking her first. Kiba~Agreed. Do we have anything sweet? Koneko~Fruit? Kiba~What is there? Tenka~Oranges, grapes, berries, melon- Kiba~Melon please They passed the small bowl of melons to Kiba before he coaxed Ann awake Kiba~Come on dear. I need your help to help to get you down from here Ann~No…Don’t wanna move… Kiba~Then how will I feed you melons? She turned a little Ann~Ahhhh! Kiba~You get one *feeds* to get more you need to get off the chocobo Ann~Okay… She moved away to sit on her own and stretched while Kiba got off. He helped Ann come down and fed her another melon piece. Triplets~Morning mom Ann~Morning kids. How was Bikanel? She sat with them and rubbed her eye Tenka~There were a lot of Cactuars Koneko~Yeah! But we found a lot of things! Reiketsu~It was mostly machina parts Ann~They pay for the scrap metal Kiba~Which they did sell and bought some accessories with the money Clasko~Sounds like the adventure. Will you guys still be around today? Ann~Only if the triplets want to see their birds? As they were talking, they had already started to eat. Reiketsu almost choked trying to answer Kiba~Easy son. It’s too early to panic Koneko~We wanna stay! Ann~Okay, okay. Don’t worry The triplets made excited noises Clasko~Will it be another week? We should get you something more conformtable to sleep in Lady Ann Ann~That extra hay was more than enough Kiba~We’ll get a cot Ann~Too much to carry Kiba~Easier for you to get up Reiketsu~Yeah. Your center of gravity is weird, and the baby made you front heavy Ann~I am not front heavy Tenka~It’s only because you’re pregnant Mom. Wasn’t it like that when you had us? Ann~That’s besides the point Clasko~Ann, you’re too concerned for the wrong thing. Let them fuss. Then you can worry about other things. Like starting the next fight Ann~You have a point. The triplets have been very good about not randomly starting fights anymore Kiba~I thought that’s what you wanted? Ann~Yeah. So that way they don’t start fighting while we’re trying to shop. Remember Kilika? The triplets cringed and Kiba nodded in understanding. At some point during their first visit, the triplets fought and threw each other into the water while restocking their food just before they left.

Alois regarded the boy with the same stony gaze. It didn't falter, didn't tremble, didn't quake.

Yet his fingers curled into the leather with white-knuckle force. His jaw tensed and his lungs boiled with each breath.

But he did not want to dwell on such rejection. For if he did, what would become of it? Ruination of a tentative friendship he'd built somehow? Unabashed assault?

But it would only mirror his ac-
No.

Alois breathed an even sigh in his attempt to dispose of his spurned rage. Loyalty and monogamy escaped him; the blonde's decisions didn't make sense. It fell short biologically. It faded historically. It hurt currently.

He relinquished his deathgrip on the chair and forced his trek toward the couch. It still welcomed him with the same minor sink of the cushions, but he no longer harbored that good mood. Instead he seized his notebook and feigned surveying the accuracy of his notes while he spoke. "You already got ze words you need and wish to hear, Alex." And in turn, he received an answer he didn't want.

What the hell was monogamy supposed to do for someone, anyway? What the ******** was the point? Did it benefit him in some way to say <******** you, I'm already seeing someone? Was it some sort of status symbol? Everyone knows Alexandre is full of those and flaunts them at any available moment. Or was he just looking for a reason to torment Alois? He never seemed like the vindictive type before, but... People change in the breadth of an instant. Did he even know the blonde anymore? He had seemed so interested in Alois before, but now? Nothing.

All because of ******** monogamy. Loyalty.

Maybe living here was a mistake.

"I ******** up a measure." He stated to himself. No longer did Alex and himself maintain a sort of harmony; their song fell into a discordant chaos. There were fits and starts of allegretto and pianissimo and andante and forte and staccato and... He felt so far detached from the blonde right now. So tired. So pointless.

Alois stood, though it pained him to do so. "Seek out a 'repeat performance' wis' your date, Alex. I don't care. Find yourself between ze sheets. You're already drowning yourself in your own trite views of societal norms. Do what you want for once." After rolling his notebook up, he tried starting toward the stairs, but it hurt terribly to do so. He shouldn't be on his feet after ripping his stitches, he know that; after a secondary visit to the hospital, he refrained from telling the blonde the specifics for that reason. Alex didn't need to know he'd injured himself twice.

Alex didn't need to know he injured the misanthrope.

"You can hold zis," he responded in kind, tossing the notebook at the floor near Alexandre. It wasn't an action born out of fury, but out of tired capitulation. It hurt to be in pain all the time, and Alexandre's curious ways of constantly exacerbating the situation only deepened his exhaustion.

He didn't want help. Didn't need it. Wasn't used to it.

Didn't want to be.

Alois started up the stairs in a painstaking measure. Each step pulled at the stitches, no matter how gingerly he moved. And he knew, in that moment, that should they rip one final time, it would be out of his hands, out of his power to stop it. For he wasn't meant to have any power in the first place, was he? It made sense - both in physical and spiritual aspects. He wasn't offered a position in the Negaverse, he was forced into it - by Benitoite, or Alexandre, no less. He suspected Alexandre had more to do with it than Benitoite, for it was a human effort, a compassionate effort.

And sometimes he forgot the deep understanding and willingness to help offered by the slight blonde.

But without being offered that sense of power, by essentially drafting him into the Negaverse, it confirmed that he had little choice in the matter. Even if he was given that ghost of a decision, in some alternate universe, he would've accepted regardless, for it was his fate to end up as an officer within their ranks.

And spiritually... Every decision he made amounted to little. It did not alter the direction of the world, it did not change the universe's path, and he understood that with a great measure of relief. Powerlessness was freedom, in a way, and he seized upon that aspect with far more willingness than he could afford. Still, it hurt to be denied the minutia that he sought with such great fervor, but that was part of being human, was it not?

And these stairs afforded no luxury.

The banister creaked beneath his weight, both hands pressed against its top while he sought to take the pressure off his damaged leg. A long climb, it was - one rife with thoughts unsolicited and the last dregs of utter rejection urging him further. Useless, perhaps, was a greater word to describe him now. Unable to perform Negaverse duties, unable to manage coherent relationships, unable to surmount a staircase in a typically mindless task. How fitting a fate for someone as nihilistic as him - to lose even his freedom to such adverse circumstances.

Yes, a fitting fate indeed.