Backdated to June 27
There had been many times in his life already that Julian was anxious about going to Dering, but now more than ever he knew he couldn't avoid it.
It was nearly impossible not to beg Talia to take him up again, and twice already that week, he'd powered up just to see if he could try and visit early.
He couldn't. It wasn't like Dering was rejecting him--he never felt like it was trying to keep him out, but like it was just there and out of reach. Like he could have done it if he was just a little stronger, just a little better.
He returned a week after the eclipse, not sure what to expect but having prepared for everything he could think of.
This time, he brought several lights. Soleiyu helped him, of course. Like always.
Julian had asked him more boldly than usual, more desperately, more panicked. He'd done his best to conceal it, and thought he did a decent job. Soleiyu would not have made the same claim, but wouldn't have said otherwise if anyone had asked. He and Julian had an unspoken but understood relationship.
Julian was allowed to ask questions. Soleiyu, not so much. Julian got anxious when someone started digging too deep, so Soleiyu didn't ask any more than he needed to. He knew how difficult it was for Julian to ask for anything at all, so he felt a great deal of pride any time Julian could muster up the courage to ask his questions. He didn't usually make a request, but Soleiyu was happy to offer, and he'd long ago learned how to track Julian's tension by the angle of his shoulders.
Soleiyu had asked a few questions, but when Julian asked, more anxious than usual, it was for a good cause.
Julian had told him only what he needed to--that his Wonder was dark, and that he was thinking that he might like to spend a little more time there over the summer, but he couldn't do it safely if he hadn't prepared.
It was honest enough. Julian omitted the truth but rarely lied, so Soleiyu was satisfied and gave him four lanterns, each with an array of settings that could be adjusted based on need.
When Julian arrived on Dering, the sun was up. It was a pleasant day, something between spring and fall but not quite summer.
Several birds, chickadee-shaped but with pure white plumage, hopped around on the ground, pecking at the dirt. They jumped away when he arrived, but weren't startled enough to take flight. Birds sang from the trees, and the forest smelled earthy and clean, with a distinctly floral fragrance carrying on the breeze.
Cyril was playing his lyre from the other side of the clearing, not far away, in the cluster of trees where they often sat to talk, or play songs.
For a moment, Julian stood still. He closed his eyes and exhaled.
The birdsong was beautiful, but Cyril's playing was even more so.
Julian didn't usually get to hear it like this.
It felt a little dishonest to stand and listen, especially if Cyril hadn't realized he was here yet.
...Julian just needed a moment.
Just a little while to let this sink in. To feel the sun on his skin and the air in his lungs.
To let his heart calm down.
Things were okay.
Dering was okay.
Cyril was okay.
Julian was--
Well, he didn't know.
He hoped he could figure it out soon.
